i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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