just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize