butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
