Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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