alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
