normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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