how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You dont lie about slip and slides
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
