so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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