I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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