the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
