The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
