there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Found the puke drawer
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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