Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
