One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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