Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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