i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Actions speak louder than pants.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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