gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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