I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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