I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
