he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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