I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
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I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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