new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
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The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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