you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
