I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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