grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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