mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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