My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
