I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
