Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
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I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
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Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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