she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
