It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
