so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize