It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
