And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
