2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
