DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
