You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
