She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
