i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
