I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize