she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
