First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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