let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
