It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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