I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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