he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
