sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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