you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
