Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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