U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
