Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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