I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
