yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
